Lucilles Blog

Watch Battlefield Earth Movie Online. Movie Title: Battlefield Earth Average customer review: Battlefield Earth is available for streaming or downloading. Click Here to Stream or Download Battlefield Earth

#1 Johnny Goodboy used a Psychlo learning machine, and learned “Euclidean” Geometry. I guess the psychlos were fans of the ancient Greeks.

#2 The tribes lived in caves in Denver for 1000 years, but one spoke with a heavy British accent.

#3 They had no system of writing any more, but after using the learning machine that taught him Pyschlo, Johnny knew how to read English

#4 It took the psychlos 9 minutes to defeat the combined armies, navies, air force, marines of the USA, China, Russia, and England etc… but it took 9 minutes for a dozen cavemen to defeat them?

#5 If the psychlos were so smart that they had a learning machine, then how come they couldn’t learn English, but needed to teach Johnnie their language? Also, the ancient teacher from another alien race spoke to Johnnie in English.

#6 The Styrofoam creatures at the mini golf place looked mighty nice after 1000 years. I guess styrofoam really doesn’t biodegrade.

#7 The Psychlos have advance mapping capabilities that allowed them to detect a tiny bit of gold from a earthquake in the rocky mountains, but they couldn’t find Ft. Knox in 1000 years. It took cavemen a few days to figure that out.

#8 The library of congress is topped with the capitol dome.

#9 The Psychlos fought a war, albeit a short one with humans with aircraft, yet thought dogs were smart and humans were unable to operate mining equipment.

#10 The Pyschlos taught the most rebellious human to use their flying equipment, which is dumb in and of itself. How did they beat us in the first place? But then, he sneaks off in the craft for a week, cruising to Ft. Knox, Washington D.C., and Ft. Hood, Texas, and they don’t notice it or track it with radar.

#11 In Ft. Hood Texas, the rebels arrive 1000 years after humanity was decimated, to find that the power was still on. I guess the military paid their electrical bills way in advance. Not only was the power on, but there were harrier jets with full gas tanks, missiles, and a flight simulator that was still functioning and turned on when they arrived. Oh, and there was a nuclear bomb left out in the open for them to grab too. How convenient.

#12 The rebels, aside from Johnny did not get the learning machine experience, but he was able to train them to read English in seven days. He got them enough training time each in the flight simulator for them to learn battle tactics and to fly advanced military aircraft to beat the evil aliens in battle. Let’s see. 10’s of thousands of air force personnel who trained for years and years were vanquished by the Psychlos, but 3 dozen hillbillies with a week of training in English, battle tactics, and flying were able to destroy them without breaking a sweat.

#13 When Johnny is shot with a pyschlo radar gun, he goes through 5 or 6 plate glass windows without getting a cut.

#14 The night they defeat the aliens, Johnnie’s hair is all thrashed around and going this way and that, after a hard night of battle, he emerges with clean hair that is nicely braided in front.

#15 The books in the Denver library were still very readable after 1000 years of exposure to atmosphere.

#16 The buildings still had glass in the windows 1000 years later.

#17 Cars were slightly rusted, but still had their original paint job from 1000 years ago.

#18 Cars still had air pressure in their tires after a millenium of disuse.

#19 The nuclear bomb had no casing, but the rebels didn’t show signs of exposure.

#20 The humans instead of mining the gold, got bars of it from Ft. Knox. I was surprised that John Travolta’s character noticed, but Johnny said that they melted it down into bars for them. Yeah, from what foundry near by?

#21 Johnny was tortured by the Psychlos, testing if he could survive for 4 minutes without oxygen which they didn’t breathe. He runs through the place, and there are several fires burning despite the lack of oxygen. I guess the laws of chemistry are suspended in the 31st century.

So…the guy who said the film had no plot holes apparently possesses quite a few holes in his own thinking. This is not the kind of stuff on which you base suspension of disbelief - this is inexcusable tripe from talentless filmmakers (and a hack scifi writer who was the laughing stock of his generation) aiming only to cash in on the success of numerous superior films. And since when is scifi poorly received in the press? Movies like “The Matrix,” “Star Wars,” and “Pitch Black” all received well-deserved accolades. The reviews for “Battlefield Earth” have been resoundingly negative not due to any religious bias but due to the simple fact that it’s an ineptly filmed, poorly acted, incoherent, derivative attempt to milk genre fans of their money.

But, judging from the dismal box office receipts, it’s nice to see that the proposed sequel will probably never happen. Thank God.

Now go watch some real scifi flicks, and hey, go read some books by Heinlein, Campbell, or Bradbury, a group of writers who each possessed more talent in their pinky fingers than L. Ron Hubbard exhibited through a career propelled by some of the worst prose ever produced. Scientologist or not, the guy just plain sucked.

When you sit down to see a movie, you know suspension of disbelief is a must. Especially when the film is a science fiction. You know a lot of things in the movie can’t really happen, but you can let yourself believe you can for those two hours you’re immersed in another world. Unless, of course, the movie is too ludicrous and everything that happens screams disbelief. Battlefield Earth has enough unbelievable situations for three terrible movies. (Warning, minor spoilers ahead).

The premise of the film asks you to accept that a supreme alien race conquered Earth in 9 minutes, and then for 1,000 years have reaped the land for natural resources, namely gold. So a civilization so advanced it can take control of a planet so quickly, hasn’t found all the gold on Earth yet? And hasn’t even found Fort Knox yet? And they don’t have a clue that humans are intelligent enough to operate mining equipment (They laugh at the thought of humans being able to do any work), yet they live in the ruins of Denver, surrounded by obvious signs of an intelligent race which they enslaved. At one point in the film, even, these humans, who have been forced to live in caves or cages, find an army base filled with still working planes and weapons, and learn how to operate everything as good as any experienced pilot or soldier, in only a few days. I could go on; these are just the tip of the iceberg.

Besides the ridiculous leaps of belief the movie asks you to make, there is more to despise here. For example, the pacing is atrocious. In the first 5 minutes of the movie, you meet Jonnie (Barry Pepper) as he returns to his home tribe, says a few words to the woman we’re told he’s romantically involved with, gets in a fight with the head of the tribe about how they should venture out of their caves, and leaves. The film doesn’t show us how they live, explore their culture, examine the relationship Jonnie has neither with the head of the tribe nor with his girlfriend, or even give Jonnie any in depth characterization. Instead, the whole movie moves so fast, we don’t know these characters any better then the extras without any speaking lines.

However, there are a few things to admire in this film. Primarily, there are some beautiful scenery shots of mountains, fields, and cities overgrown and taken back by the wilds. There are even a few good ideas peppered throughout the film. Just don’t blink, you might miss them.

If you’re not at all fussy about intelligent (or even somewhat believable) science fiction, or character development, or even acting (a can of worms I didn’t open, John Travolta is terrible as the bad alien Terl), then Battlefield Earth might be worth a quick glance. Otherwise stay away. Stay far, far away.
Looking for Treatments for Cellulite? Fast Working
Brother Sewing Machine Get Your Today! - pickup your hobby back up with a brother sewing machine