Stream Jaws - The Revenge Online
Samedi, juillet 31st, 2010 |
Stream Jaws - The Revenge Online.
Movie Title: Jaws - The Revenge Jaws - The Revenge is available for streaming or downloading. |
I just saw the end of JAWS: THE REVENGE again on latenight cable TV–where it belongs–and I’m still stunned by the incredible lameness of every aspect of this movie. For everyone who quibbles about the unlikelihood of finding a Great White in the warm waters of the Bahamas: this shark also roars. Like a lion or something. A roaring shark. You read that right.
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The filmmakers also keep cutting shots from the original JAWS into the climax. As a reminder that there was actually a good film at one time here? A distraction from how horrible this one is?
They paid Michael Caine enough to be in this stink bomb–but obviously not enough to wear a wet shirt after climbing out of the ocean. His expressions often convey that he’s there but you’re lucky he’s at least facing the camera.
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Was there something better he could have been doing? Yes. Picking up his first Oscar for HANNAH AND HER SISTERS. But he missed the Oscars to be in JAWS: THE REVENGE. At least he went on national TV to admit that he did this movie because he had a home right there in the Bahamas (he even pointed at the house during the interview).
The demise of the roaring shark is a baffling, badly-edited violation of all of our natural laws and logic. Shark rises out of the water. Boat rams shark. Shark explodes. Boat explodes. Everyone survives, even the annoying Jamaican who got chewed up several minutes before. Roll footage clearly the same of the blown-up shark sinking from the original.
Wow. It’s that bad.
The tag line for this movie was “This time it’s personal.”
They were right.
That studio’s really got it in for us!
Well, there are already 79 1 stars reviews written for this thing so I dunno how much more I have to say, but there are a few significant points.
-’Jaws: The Revenge’ is knockoff of ‘Orca’. You just think about that for a while. This is disturbing for a variety of reasons, not the least of which being that ‘Orca’ was a knockoff of ‘Jaws’, and is also the stupidest movie ever made, with the possible exception of…. ‘Jaws: The Revenge’.
-I first saw this movie when I was a little kid. I thought about it occasionally over the years reflecting on how at the end of the film the shark kinda floats on top of the water on his tail and is impaled on the mast, or whatever, of the ship. Eventually, after a number of years, I became convinced that I had imagined this. It was just too stupid to be real. No frickin’ way. Then I saw this movie again a while back and sure enough the ending happened just as a remembered it. All this comes together to mean that the ending of this film is so stupid that it is literally beyond belief. That’s somethin’
-The shark in this movie roars. Many others have mentioned this, but it bears repeating. This is another thing I’d forgotten. After being reminded of it today I nearly fell over laughing.
-Also, the shark is really, really amusing looking. His sides are all wiggly like he’s made out of carpet or something and hasn’t got a skeleton.
Grade: F
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